This is a sample of our household handbook.  Every family has different rules and different comfort zones.  My advice is to do what is comfortable for your family, but whatever you decide, putting it in writing for your au pair is very useful in helping her settle into her role in your house.   You might also want to email a copy to your au pair before she arrives.

The Eldert Cultural Care Au Pair Household

Handbook

…the key to success is in the small details.

Your LCC is Tanya & Mike Eldert 757-499-3469 please call her if there is an issue or problem you feel like you can’t discuss with us (I hope this doesn’t happen, but), she is available to help you throughout the year.

Important:  READ FIRST

Please understand that first and foremost we want you to become a part of our family.  It

is important to us to have a comfortable, happy family and for you to become part of that. 

The rules and guidelines written here come from experience with other au pairs who have stayed here.  Some of these things may not be a problem for you, or there maybe other issues we need to address over the year that we never thought of.  In either case, if there is a problem or you disagree with something, TALK TO US. 

After you have read this.  We will all sit down together and discuss each section to make sure you understand and to address any questions you may have.  You can ‘take notes’ or jot down questions as you go through the handbook.

 1.  Children First

Here are some activities that we expect you to do with our children:

Anything age appropriate that is creative or education is encouraged.  I have many books you can look through with game and craft ideas.

Children learn more than most adults give them credit for.  We want her to learn other languages, express her creativity in numerous way (coloring, painting (check with Tanya about the types of paint), building with blocks, read her books, play outside, basically explore the world together.  

I want to start limiting her TV or “video’s” as she calls them.  In the morning she can watch TV while she wakes up and has breakfast.  Then it gets turned off.  In the afternoon she can watch Dora or Blue’s Clues after her nap.  She has a few education DVD’s that she can watch a couple times a week.

 Each day should have at LEAST ONE of the following activities:

Art/creativity (crayons, paints, stickers)

Academic (ABC, 123, Shapes, colors,)

Books (at least 3 per day)

Music (play cd’s, piano, flute, drums, tambourines, or sing songs)

Imagination (pretend, dolls, etc)

Physical activities (walk outside, play outside, play ball inside if it is nasty outside)

 Sianna is very intelligent and amazes many people with how much she knows at an early age.  I believe most of this is due to the fact that we show her things and teach her in FUN ways.  She thinks she is playing, but she is also learning as she plays.  By pointing out colors, shapes, counting etc, to her as you play, she continues to learn.  Also, at this age, she learns more than she will at any other age, we need to make sure we are always showing her new things and letting her experience the world.  Nothing should be forced, it should always be in the spirit of fun and exploration.    Let her HELP you as you do the laundry, she loves to take out the clothes.  Teach her the name of all the clothing.  After she learns the names in English, teach her in your language and so on.

 It is also proven that children learn quicker if the process is accompanied by lots of love and hugs.  Positive physical touch actually increases brain stimulation and helps her develop both mentally and physically.  Sianna is very use to getting hugs and cuddling with all the people who have ever watched her and I hope you will continue that tradition.

 The type of behavior that gets rewarded vs. punished is as follows:

 Biting and hitting gets automatic time outs.

 Riding the dogs, pulling their tails, or laying on them in a hurtful way, gets counted to 3 and then a time out.

And here are some typical rewards and punishments:

 Rewards – she will do almost anything; including take medicine, if you let her “ play with her stickers’, try to use rewards of things she likes to do…not foods.

 Punishment –

If she is getting into trouble, 1^st try to distract her with something else, a book is a good option.  If she doesn’t stop after you asked her to and tried to distract her she gets a count to 3 and a time out. (We’ll show you)

If she bite or hits, she gets an automatic time out.

 TV

Sianna is at a young impressionable age when anything she watches on TV will appear real.  Studies show that children under the age of 5 or 6 are unable to tell the difference between what is make-believe on TV and what is real.  For that reason all of us have to be careful about what we watch when she is around.

There are 2 TV’s if you want to watch something at night when you are off that is violent, lots of cussing, etc. please do so away from her.  If you working at night and decide to watch a show while she is awake, please choose something that is ok for her to view also.  If you are working during the day, I’d prefer you not watch TV, usually there is nothing on anyway, or you can tape a show to watch later.

 Additional writing space for the Children First Section:

A typical day will be you starting at 9 am.  Sianna will probably already be up.  If she is just waking up, put her on the potty (the 1^st step to potty training), let her wake up while watching Sesame Street , feed her breakfast, get her dressed and ready for the day.

In the morning play with her, read some books, listen to some music, color in coloring books, play with dolls, if you stay home.  This is also a great time to take her to activities and we will plan them together.

Fix her lunch. (if I’m home I will eat with you all, maybe help fix the meal)

Clean up lunch

Put Sianna down for a nap (I will help if necessary).  While she is napping you can work on her laundry, clean up toys from the morning.  Set up activities for the afternoon.  Take care of any personal calls, emails or cleaning.

When she wakes up give her snack and drink

Possibly let her watch Dora or Blue

Play with her some more, go outside if possible.

I’ll usually fix dinner.

Pick up toys before dinner

* it is easier to pickup after each activity rather than everything at the end of the day*

Also, have her help you pick up, I don’t want you ‘doing things for her’ but teaching her how to do things herself and of course giving her a hand when appropriate.

Get her ready for dinner, help clean up after dinner.

Give her a bath and into pajamas.

You're off.  

This is just a sample it can change daily.  I’m generally home, but sometimes I go out for meetings.  It is probably easier for you when I am gone, she is easier to play with.  When I am home it is sometimes a challenge to keep her distracted while I am working.  She will run in the office for HUGS on a regular basis, which is fine.  You’ll just have to tempt her with another game or toy to get her out of the office.

 EMERGENCIES

 Fire extinguisher status:

In the Kitchen beside the refrigerator

 Fire evacuation plan status: IF YOU ARE ALONE WITH SIANNA, GET HER OUT, ALSO THE DOGS IF POSSIBLE.  Get out the closest window or door, meet in the front yard by the tree.

If we are home we will get Sianna and the dogs, get yourself out the window and to the tree.

 Portable fire ladders status:

None needed, 1 story.

 Medical insurance details status:

On your card, we’ll help you if you get sick.  CARRY THIS WITH YOU IF YOU LEAVE THE HOUSE.

 2.  Car Policies

 Below you will find our car policies regarding what your schedule and responsibilities will include.

 Please check with Tanya or Mike before taking the car.  Once you become comfortable driving the car, you may use it when you are off or to take Sianna out.  Please clear this with us first, since we share cars and to make sure Tanya isn’t going to use it for business purposes or has weekend plans.  

Also for this reason it will be difficult for you to take it overnight, for a full day, or for the weekend.  If it is needed, please talk to us so we can discuss alternatives.

 If you use the car for personal use you may be responsible for paying for gas.  We will discuss this in the future depending on how often you use the car and how far you go.  

Mike will go over all safety issues concerning the car, such as; where to find the AAA card, emergency supplies, and changing tires.  TAKE A CELLPHONE WITH YOU WHENEVER YOU LEAVE THE HOUSE.  This is for your own safety.  There is nothing worse than being broken down with no way to call for help.

 We will also go over what to do if you have an accident.  If you have an accident and it is your fault and you are driving as part of your job, you will not be responsible for the $500 payment to the insurance company.  If you have an accident while you are off and using the car for personal use, and it is your fault, you will be responsible for paying $500. (The fee is called a deductible)

 Driving privileges may be taken away if you receive any tickets for speeding or reckless driving or if you have an accident.

 Additional writing space for the Car Policy section:

The CAR has a curfew, but you do not.  See the curfew section to see when the car is due back at night.  If you want to stay out later with friends and you have the car.  Have them follow you back to the house, drop off the car, and go out with them for the rest of the evening.

 Here are our guidelines regarding automobile insurance:

We have auto insurance and you will be added to our policy once you receive your Virginia Driver’s license.  Until then you are driving as a ‘guest’ and should only drive the car with one of us, or in the case of an emergency.  An insurance card is in the vehicle in the glove compartment IF you have an accident.

 If you hit another car, the other driver or the police may ask to see the card.  You can show it to them.  On the back of the card, lists exactly what to do or not to do while at the scene of the accident.  NEVER admit that you were at fault.  That is not your job to determine the cause of the accident…leave it up to the police officer on scene.

 3. Household Responsibilities

 PICK UP AFTER YOURSELF.  We don’t expect you to do all the housecleaning OR pick up after us.  But we do expect you to be responsible for your own things and putting things away when you are done with them. 

This includes:

putting your dirty dishes in the dishwasher,

helping clean up after we all eat a meal together,

wiping down the kitchen counter when you are done with it,

hanging up your jacket when you come home

keeping the bathroom counter uncluttered as possible (I’ll give you a ‘basket’ if you want to keep things in there),

wiping your feet and taking off your shoes when you come in.  

Also helping us with small things like;

Unloading the dishwasher,

Taking the trash out to the cans,

Putting the recycling outside

Will be a great help and appreciated.

 We all have to live here, it is a small house with lots of activity and traffic.  We don’t expect it to be spotless all the time, but keeping it neat and picked up as much as possible will help with the harmony and improve the feel of the home.  If we all pitch in then it will also increase our harmony as a family.

 4.  Vacation and Holiday Schedule

 General Information:

We are going to try to go to Las Vegas in May 2006.  We’ll discuss with you.  If it is a working vacations and we’ll pay your way so you can give us a hand with Sianna.  They will not be YOUR vacations.  We are pretty flexible with those, we do expect sufficient notice (a couple of weeks) prior to your vacations that you need time off.  We’ll discuss throughout the year what you want to do and where you want to go.  We also hope to take you to DC so you can do some site seeing.  We have friends and family in the area so we will probably all stay with them. 

 Additional writing space for the Vacation/Holiday Schedule section:

Michael works some holidays.  But Tanya’s schedule is generally flexible so if you wanted off for a holiday, just let us know.  Most holidays we treat like any other day. 

 5. Visitors and Guests

 General Information about visits:

You are welcome to have friends visit and stay the night, but please check with us FIRST before making plans especially if someone is to stay overnight.  We will provide you with the same courtesy and let you know who and when people are visiting.

 Additional writing space for the Visitors section:

Because they are your guests you are responsible for their conduct.  For example; if they eat half the food in the refrigerator, you or they need to replace it.  We don’t mind sharing but within reason.  If they are rude or disrespectful we may ask them not to return.

 Visitors while you are working must be cleared with Tanya or Mike first. 

 6. Curfews

 General Information:

If you are taking OUR car, you need to have it back by MIDNIGHT.  In special situations this is up for discussion.

If you are NOT driving, you do not have a curfew, BUT we expect you to be awake and ready to work in the morning if it is your day to work.  If we find out that you cannot be ready on time after staying out late, we may have to enforce a curfew on work nights.

 We would like to know if you are staying overnight somewhere so we don’t worry that something has happened to you and an approximate time to expect you home.  Please let us know if you plan on saying out past midnight.

 Additional writing space for the Curfews section:

Please keep as quiet as possible coming in late at night (after midnight) so you don’t wake Sianna or us.  Please be sure all doors are locked and all lights are turned off before heading off to bed.

 ALSO, as a courtesy, let us know if you plan to go out.  If you leave the house while we are gone and you have not mentioned going anywhere, please leave us a note of when you will be back.  We will provide you the same respect and let you know our plans as much in advance as possible, and leave you a note if we go somewhere and you’re not home.

 7. Work Hours

 Information about giving notice of not being able to work:

If you are sick, let us know as soon as possible.  Especially if you don’t feel like you can take care of Sianna that day.  If you need a day off, let us know as soon as you do.

 General information about being sick:

If you are sick we would prefer you take care of yourself and try to get better.  We will not have you work unless it is an emergency.   If you can’t work we may have to rearrange the regular schedule later in the week to accommodate the schedule changes.

 Additional writing space for the Work Hours section:

On a weekly basis, we will review your work schedule for the next week when we will need you. 

 We also expect you to be “ready to work” at your scheduled time.  If you need to dress, take a shower, etc, please do so BEFORE your shift starts.  There is an alarm clock in your room to help you wake up, we will be happy to show you how to use it.

 We will try to work with you about getting a special time off for your friends, events, or plans you may have and try to be flexible with your schedule to meet those needs.  But please realize that sometimes we have plans that can’t be changed and we will need you to work.  Also you will generally have the weekends off, BUT there will be weekends that we need you to work and we expect you to also be flexible with your schedule.  Weekends when we need you to work are usually on the calendar many weeks in advance so that you can make your schedule accordingly.

 8. Telephone and Computer/Internet Usage

 General Information:

In general we would prefer you not use the phone while working.  Tanya uses both phones during the day for work purposes and tying up the phone line could interfere with her work.

If you want to make US calls, use the home phone, we do not pay for US long distance.

We will have a cell phone for you to use when you go out, it is to be used to contact US and EMERGENCIES ONLY.  We do not have many phone minutes and if you go over the minutes you will be expected to pay for the calls.

If you are making International calls – Use a calling card.  IF you call internationally on our phone, you will have to pay the phone bill.  One of the best places to get cheap phone cards is the Oriental Market down the street.

We have a computer for you to use to check email and search the web.  Please be careful what you open or search, many websites have viruses or spy ware that will affect the computer.  If you get an ‘error’ or ‘warning’ message, don’t do anything.  Ask Tanya or Mike to help.  Please do not use the computer while watching Sianna unless she is napping OR you are planning a game on the computer with her.

Additional writing space for the Phone/Computer Usage section:

Please let your friends know NOT to call after 9 PM, unless it is an emergency.  In my family it is very disrespectful to call a house at night when people or children might be sleeping.  You may also want to make sure it is ok with other host families if you call other au pairs after 9, many people have the same rule.

9.  General Communication

 We want you to feel comfortable in our home and with our family.  We know how difficult your first few weeks are going to be, especially while you adjust to and learn about our family.  We have tried to describe, to the best of our ability, how we communicate with each other about both large and small issues and how we would like you to communicate with us:

THE MOST IMPORTANT RULE IN THE HOUSE!!!! 

IF YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND SOMETHING, ASK!!

We will be going over a lot of things in the next few weeks, and if you “say” you understand, but don’t… it will only hurt us both in the long run.  It might be something important.  Please do not feel like we will see you as stupid because you do not understand the first time we tell you.  Feel free to ask as many times as you need to in order to understand.  We will try to explain it differently until you do understand!

If we do something that you disagree with or don’t understand TELL US.  Don’t let it build up into a big issue.  It may be something we can either explain or fix.

We are both very straightforward.  We don’t hold much back and if we feel like there is a problem we will want to talk about it.  If it is a ‘small issue’ we will just say it, if it is a ‘big issue’ we may have a sit down meeting.  We expect and welcome a discussion.  We understand there will be both cultural differences, living differences, especially since this is a small house.  We are all adults.  If there are problems, we need to sit down and discuss them.

If all of this confuses you, ASK US!!!!  When in doubt, ask!

10. Education Component

We know that you are required by the U.S. Department of State to enroll in an accredited post-secondary institution for not less than six hours of academic credit or its equivalent.

We understand that we must pay the cost of this course, including texts/books up to but not more than $500.

 Nearby Institutions:

Old Dominion University has a great English as a 2^nd language class just for au pairs.

There is also TCC, Silver Bay , and weekends at Long Island University .

You will have access to the car for traveling back and forth to your courses, if your classes are on a night I need the car, we’ll juggle somehow.

11.  Directions

We will drive you, (or let you practice driving to all these places) until you learn where things are located.  Everything is SO close you won’t have a problem in a week or so.

To hospital:

CALL US or 911 if you have to get to the hospital. The nearest is only about 2 miles away, and we will show you were it is.  

12.  Dating and Smoking  

General family policy:  

Please don’t smoke, we can’t stand the smell.  If you are at bars all night and your clothes get smoky, taken them off and wash them as soon as possible.  

You’re an adult; we aren’t going to set a ‘dating’ policy.  We just ask that you use common sense.  Don’t give out your address or phone number to strangers, either in person OR on the Internet.  Don’t bring people you don’t know well back to our house.  We also suggest you give us the address and phone number where you are staying in case there are problems.  It increases your safety if your ‘date’ knows that other people know where you are.

 13.  Cultural Exchange  

Opportunities with the family:

We’d really like it if you would join us for family activities and holidays.  If there is some place you’d like to do or go, let us know, maybe we can do it as a family.  I’m sure you will make friends with other au pairs and hopefully American friends also, so we will not be insulted if you want to go out with them.  If there is a special event or trip coming up we’ll let you know as soon as possible so you can decide if you want to join us.

If we are sitting around in the evening, watching TV or playing a game, please considered joining us, we’d love the company. We want you to feel comfortable to join us for family activities, dinners and outings.  Occasionally we will want to do things alone, but we will always try to tell you well in advance so you can make your own plans

 We also look forward to you telling us about your family and country.  We’d love to try some meals from your country and learn about different holidays.

 14. Additional Notes  

We will pay you on Friday’s.  In the beginning we will pay you in cash, but hopefully you will soon get a checking account and we will give you a check or automatically have the money transferred to your account.  We will also talk to you Friday about your schedule the following week, if we have not already done so.  Please let us know of any days you would like to request off as early as possible so we can do our best to accommodate them and adjust our schedule if we can.